CAN MY SO CALLED BEST FRIENDS STOP FUCKING PEOPLE I HAVE FEELINGS FOR?!

scars.

i carry my weight in scars. some can be seen some can’t. some from battles i chose, other from battles that chose me. 

the worst ones are covered, hidden from the world. the stories behind them are too tragic, too real, too painful to share. so i keep them close to me, close to my heart. in the deepest darkest shadows of my mind. not for fear of frightening anyone, oh no, that’s been done, and will be done again. i keep them because they’re mine. they have molded into my body, into me, who i am, who i’ll become. 

the better ones, if those existed, are plain for all to see. written across my body, my face, my heart, my mind. clear to the human eye that i’m scarred, the pain from the past remains present and readies me for the future. i don’t hide these, but they often times hide themselves. shelved with the shame and time passed that make them feel unwanted, scared.

my scars have burned, bled, wept, ached, and yearned for healing, for covering, for erasure. they, like air, will always be there to me. like air, they cannot be seen, but felt. like water, they’re heavy, deadly, and not to be calmed. like fire, they burn, they encase everything around them, it only takes a spark before they become a flame. like land, they break, crack, crumble and hold the weight of the world on their shoulders.

some will fade, others won’t; like friends. relationships. tattoos. hair colors. some will remain unscathed by the sun, darkening and keeping themselves seen, bluntly. some will hide behind the shades of natural skin that will someday lay on top of them, like a cloak of snow in the winter storm. 

the heat from the burn is nothing like the chill of the ice. 

I'm just gonna keep this going, from a text I got earlier that read "Beastly".

farawaysystem:

I sought to know where the danger was in this, I heard nothing from the hills and saw nothing around me to prove other wise. Unbeknownst to me, driven from deep within came a thunderous sound to leave one shaking in ones own path. That couldn’t have been what I thought it was. In no way would I,…

This is a wonderfully written post by my best friend, Barbara, inspired by a simple word, a text at that. At the peak of heartbreak, she gives us a look into raw pain. Lovely. I love it.

just leave

walk away from me

and take what you want

but don’t take my love; you had your chance

don’t take my pride; that’s my last dance

don’t take my money; i need a way home

don’t take my jacket; it’s cold when i’m alone.